nut hugger
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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