I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
