there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Hippo gnu deer
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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