Apparently you make a good broom.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
