I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
