I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
