You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
