I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize