i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
