i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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