the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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