fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i will never coherently bang her
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
