i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize