it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize