the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
