Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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