I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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