We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
