I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
