so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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