I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
