and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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