my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
