awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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