hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
so that wasnt chicken after all
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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