So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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