i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just had sex bonerless
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
