He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
