I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
