I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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