At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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