P.S. I can't hear my feet
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
