I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
