He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
