What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
