"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
