Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
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