Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
