So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
my liver is dry heaving
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
