Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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