you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
