This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
