It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
