u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am midnight drunk by noon
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
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