There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
