I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
