Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
