You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
