Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
