Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
