Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
