the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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