you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
