Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
