"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
