I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize