This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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