I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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