The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
