Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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