absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
