i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i think i have herpe
just one?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
