I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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