You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
