im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
