I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I checked into jail on foursquare
He passed out mid-signature
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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