Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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